Dr. Scott does a bone marrow aspiration, confirms
diagnoses of ALL, Surgeon consulted to put in a
Central line placed. We choose to go with a
broviac, a line the
actually sticks out of the body. We had the
choice of a port that is under
the skin. Joey is very scared of needles and
we think it best to go with the
option that does not cause pain.
They started the Chemo, They gave it last night.
The Dr. just came in and told us they gave him
the wrong chemo. They gave him Vinblastine
instead of Vincristine. Your in lots of pain.
It is so not fair, I want so much to take your
pain away. You really want to go home. I
have been trying to learn everything I can about
ALL. I just cannot believe that this
happening. I am struggling to hold back my
tears. Scared of the possibilities. This
Chemo is strong stuff. I still cannot believe
you got the wrong stuff.
Called Dr. Gera and they admitted to hospital for
short stay/observation. Cannot hold the medications
down, every time we try to give them you throw them
up at us. 1:10 pm gave you a drink of
chocolate milk, started to complain of tummy pain.
Nurse ordered some lunch, cheeseburger and
chips. We will see if you will keep it down.
2:30 pm You nibbled for lunch kept everything
down fine. 4:00 pm. Drew blood, started IV gave IV
form of prednisone since you will not take the
Went home learning to swallow medications. We
learned to take a
starburst fruit chew and put it in the microwave,
then when it is soft to
wrap the pills lightly in the soft chewy stuff.
Then when you pop it in your
mouth, if it does not go down the first time, you
still do not taste it.
Your life has changed, I wish with all my might that
this week was a bad
dream. You have been found to have Acute
Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL) Already to day 6 in
treatment. You've been real strong, even
though it is painful and yucky.
what a big day and it's not even 2 pm. Up
early and off to the hospital. At
9:30 am you were off to the treatment center for a
bone marrow aspiration and a lumbar puncture.
They put the chemo in your LP (lumbar
puncture) plus you had a shot in your leg (chemo)
then vincristine through your line.
Yesterday Daddy and I bought you a game boy, you
seem to have misplaced one of the game cartridges.
You get OH so angry and upset. From what
understand it is the prednisone. It really
makes you strong as well as
grumpy. Being that you are sick it is hard to
be angry or even to not let
you stomp all over me. Believe me you are
doing a good job of getting what
you want. IN my. ... lost my train of thought
the nurse called and your
marrow showed you to be in REMISSION!!! Day 7
I think it is amazing!! With all the tears I've been
shedding ... these are the best tears! ***
I cannot explain how it feels every time you get
hurt. It was always tough
watching you in pain. When you fall down or
when your feelings get hurt it
is so difficult to handle. In the last 8 days
I have watched them pick, poke
and really hurt my little man. I hate every
shot, and every tear you have
had. I do not know how it feels to be real
sick. I know you are brave and I
know with our family love we will get through this
tough time. 28 days of
real difficult medicine. You are doing so
good. Someday I want you to sit back and read this
while you are well and old. I want you to be a
Grandpa if you want to be. I want you to ride
roller coasters, even jump out of planes if you
still want to when your "53" because
before that I think I would just freak out!
Thank you Lord for Remission Today!!!
I love you Joey,
Surprise, Surprise we have had a pretty good day.
After all the treatments
you had yesterday I was expecting you to be
miserable. Grandma Alvarado was here today and
you got a nice chance to talk with her. She
washed and ironed all of Daddy's uniforms. Now
we won't have to worry about them.
Daddy will be home right around 4:45 pm. I
really get excited for him to
come home. It is hard to be here when you
don't feel good and it's great
having Daddy home to help. He plays and talks
with you. I've been trying to talk you into cutting
your hair. It's longer then what was usual for
you. They said around 10 days it will start
falling out. I am not worried about how you
will look, but instead worried about what you think
about it. Your face is so dang cute. Today you
talked a lot about Natalie, you are still real
excited about having a little sister. To be honest,
I am a little worried about caring for the two of
you. Being in remission is a great feeling!
But even still you have so much work ahead of you.
Yesterday I just lost it. All the
emotions, of you hurting and not feeling well gets
under my skin. I try to always be strong.
But one day when your all grown you will see I
am a big softy who cried when I had to force you to
take your medicine. It may seem to you like I
am made of steel, I actually thought the same about
my Mom. It seems that things in life have a way of
changing me, and I know it will change you. I no
longer feel real talkative, or really like my old
self. I want to make you feel the best that I
can. I want you to feel my love and support
each minute. Tomorrow we are going to the clinic at
Michigan State University it will be our first time
there. We still have Grandma and Grandpa
Wickens car so we won't have to ask anyone for a
ride. Tomorrow you will get another shot in
the leg. It will be your 4th shot of 9 shots.
They are painful and I have numbing cream to
put on your leg but it does not seem to help at all.
You get very upset. ( I do not blame you) I
hope we like the clinic, we will be going there a
lot so I hope it is comfortable. Grandma Alvarado
talked to the news paper again and your name was in
the paper. It has generated a lot of mail and
you sure get excited when we go to the mail box.
I hope you feel wonderful and I will do all I
can for you to feel good. Please, Please,
Please little man take your medicine without
First day to the clinic, it went pretty good.
You got a shot and blood
drawn. They gave you 2 toys you picked a game
for older kids and a beanie
baby. We had pizza last night and you threw it up.
Today you begged for it.
Now your in bad pain. I think
it's heartburn. I gave you children's Mylanta.
Now we are waiting to see if it works. You are still
due your meds tonight. UGH I can't imagine you
taking anything right now. I got the heating
pad, Daddy is rubbing your tummy, you are abusing
him, pinching, pulling hair. Ect... I guess
sometimes it's the only thing that makes you feel a
little bit better. I swear we won't have pizza in
this house for a while. I am so awful with
throw up. You've been doing your share of it.
Aunt Patty brought the girls by, we went out front
in the fresh air to say Hi. I think you were
all kinda nervous, the first time you were with your
cousins. Sharon from across the street came to visit
she really likes you. She was glad you were
feeling better. Then Uncle Noe came to being
you cases for your hockey cards. He also
brought you a cool Batmobile! Today still you
received lot of mail. A really great coloring
book & crayons came from a total stranger.
It's really nice to know that there really are
super people out there. I went to Meijers, first
time away for longer then like 15 minutes. I
was Kelly a Mom from my old daycare. She did
not know about the ALL. I told her and we
decided to talk later as we both teared up in the
shampoo isle. I got you new shoes, and food type
stuff, when I check out a lady was new and was
taking forever to check out. When she got to the
shoes she acted like I switched box's. She
called for help and she called the shoe department.
I wanted to be home so bad, I began to cry in
front of the whole store. I could not stand
wondering if you were okay. Looks like the Mylanta
is working. I'm gonna just let your tummy
settle and try to give your meds to you later
tonight. You cried when they gave you shot!
T hate that so much. They told me the
percentage of bad cells was 1-2% they were happy!!!
Looks like the meds are working.
I love you,
What a great day you
have had today. It felt like we were really
into the swing of this.
You sure have an appetite, we together made dinner.
Chicken & rice with corn
on the cob. I finally had to put the food
away, you would have ate it all.
You are constantly begging for food.
A nurse came over today
to help me change your dressing. I did most of
and actually after a little nap this afternoon it
was falling off. We tried
a new sticky part, and it is not working very well.
You seem to sweat so
much when you are sleeping you sweat the bandage
off. I felt actually real
comfortable changing it.
You are making hearts,
for cards. Your so cute. The starburst
trick for the
pills is really terrific. We are now not
fighting like cats & dogs. The
weekend is real nice with Dad here. Grandma
& Grandpa Wickens are coming
home from Vegas tonight we had there car while they
were gone. I am gonna
have to see if we can get a ride to MSU on Monday
and Wednesday. We have to go Friday to Out
patient in the hospital because it is a holiday.
Now, to get your ANC (actual neutrifil count)
levels up. It is still very low.
The important thing is to keep you healthy.
Really you have not been a sick
child. Just trouble with your ears.
Today is a real UP day.
I am feeling so great about you getting
better. When you hurt or feel bad I lose some of my
control. It is nice to feel together, and
today I do feel good.
I love you Pooh Bear!
Another good day! Today around noon Grandma
Wickens came over and we went (me and her) to target
& meijers. We got you some more comfy type
cloth's. She got you a few outfits and Mom got
you some too.
Grandma got you new movies, 4 of them. That
should keep us busy. We also
went and bought food your favorite! Right now
you are eating popcorn. I
made Daddy his lunch for work tomorrow and I had to
make you a lunch to take to the clinic.
Grandpa Wickens is picking us up to take us
there tomorrow. I just dread putting the
cream on your leg to numb it for your shot. I
am not sure you know you are getting a shot
tomorrow. They will draw your blood and I am
hoping for some high counts. That would make
Daddy is taking you out
for ice-cream. I am so in love with you tow
Each one brings everything to my life. I have to say
I get nervous when anyone takes you out in public.
I am scared you will catch something, or catch
something from prepared food for a restaurant. Your
hair is still all here, as attached as I am to
rubbing your soft hair, so wavy, smells so good. I
am hoping you still let me rub your head without
hair on it.
I have Faith dear Son.
I have faith that you will grow to a sweet
man. I think I am naming our new little baby,
Natalie Faith Alvarado. We do
have lots of Faith, lots of it. I also believe
when the days are long and
you can't get everything done, you feel tired.
I feel tired too.
I wonder sometimes if any of my friends have a clue
to how I am feeling? I
feel stuck in a tub which I cannot actually see or
really feel, but stuck in
there. No choices of my own to make.
Just rules to follow. I am following
all the rules set up for me to follow, it is not fun
to do. As many of these
things include taking you places that you cry and
they poke you. I really
stinks having to watch your child hurt. I
would never want anyone to have to
I Like the Name Natalie
Faith, we will see what you and Daddy think?