THE   SHEMYA   INFORMER                        (AP,  UP,  IHTFP,  INS)

                     APRIL  25,   1959   AD     (IHTFP)                                                 
 
SHEMYA, APRIL 25     (IHTFP)

NOTED A/F MAN VOLUNTEERS
TO WORK ON DAY OFF.

ACCORDING TO LATEST
REPORTS RECEIVED IN OUR
NEWS ROOM, DURING THE PAST
SEVERAL MONTHS A
BIT OF COLOR HAS BEEN
ADDED TO THAT OLD PROVERB,
“NEVER SAY DIE.”
ACCORDING TO NEWS FLASHES
RECEIVED TODAY, A CERTAIN A/F
T/SGT WHOSE NAME HAS NOT YET
BEEN RELEASED, WAS CAUGHT
LEAVING THIS ASSIGNED DUTY
STATION AS MUCH AS FORTY
FIVE MINUTES EARLY.
THIS INDIVIDUAL, WHO
CLAIMS TO BE STEADFAST AND
IRREPROACHABLE IN BOTH HIS
HONOR AND INTEGRITY, WAS
CAUGHT RED HANDED LEAVING
HIS POST TWO DAYS AGO THE
REPORT SAID.
WHEN CAUGHT ON THE ROAD BY
THE OIC AND ASKED WHAT TIME
IT WAS HE CALMLY RESET
HIS GLASSES ON THE BRIDGE
OF HIS NOSE, TOOK A HEALTHY
PUFF FROM HIS CHEAP CIGAR,
AND STUTTERED, UH, OH, OOH,
WELL-UH, MY WATCH SEEMS TO
BE RUNNING A LITTLE SLOW.
DUE TO THE FACT THAT HIS
WATCH WAS RUNNING SLOW, THIS
INDIVIDUAL WILL WORK FORTY
FIVE MINUTES SATURDAY MORNING.
WHO IS THE JOKE ON?
THOSE WHO LAUGH LAST, LAUGH
LOUDEST. AND THIS PAPER IS ALL
SMILES.		 E-OPS, APRIL 25 (UP)

COLOR CONFUSION

        FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE, IT
WAS LEARNED TODAY THAT A CERTAIN
PFC IN E-OPS HAS BEEN ORDERING
NUMEROUS AMOUNTS OF BROWN SHOE
POSLIS AT THE B.X. IT IS THE
OPINION OF THIS PAPER AND ITS
STAFF THAT THIS PARTICULAR
INDIVIDUAL IS USING THIS POLISH
ON HIS NOSE.
        ACCORDING TO THE LATEST SYSTEM
OF INTERIOR DECORATING, BROWN
SHOULD NEVER GO ON GREEN.
 

SHEMYA, APRIL 25, (AP)

A/F MAN GIVEN CHOICE TO FINISH CAREER.

        AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS OF LOYAL (?) ACTIVE MILITARY SERVICE, AN AIR FORCE MAN WAS TOLD HE COULD EITHER GET OUT,
OR FINISH HIS TOUR IN THE WAF. THIS MAN
IS AN EX CPO, M/SGT, AND AT THE PRESENT
A T/SGT.
        THE OSI DISCLOSED TODAY THAT
ACCORDING TO OFFICIAL BIRTH
RECORDS, THIS PERSONS NAME IS NOT
JUAN BUT JUANETTE.
        SHE WAS QUOTED IN SAYING,
“I HOPE TO FINISH MY CAREER (?),
UNLESS OF THE POSSABILITY OF A
“BIG-BELLY” DISCHARGE, WHICH IS
VERY POSSIBLE AS I ALREADY HAVE
THE MAIN QUALIFICATION.”

NWA OPERATIONS, APRIL # (ONS) (RS)                    //////EDITORIAL//////

""FINANCIAL PROBLEMS OF NWA QUESTIONED BY AUDITORS.""


THIS IS THE PROBLEM, NORTHWEST FEEDS APPROXIMATELY FOUR HUNDRED MEN EACH DAY.
FOR THIS, THE US GOVERNMENT PAYS THE OUTRAGES PRICE OF APPROXIMATELY $4,100.00.
OUR QUESTION IS, WHY CAN’T NWA AFFORD A MERE TWELVE GALLONS OF COFFEE A DAY
WHICH CAN BE MADE FROM APPROX. FOUR POUNDS OF GROUND COFFEE. TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION THE QUALITY, AS WELL AS QUANITY OF THE FOOD SERVED AT THE NWA
CHOW HALL IT IS APPARENT THAT THIS MONEY MAKING ORGANIZATION IS MAKING MONEY.
WE OF THIS PAPER FEEL THAT THE QUALITY OF THE FOOD, INCLUDING THE POWDERED
MILK, SHOULD WARRANT SOME SONSIDERATION FOR THOSE WHO HAVE TO CONSUME IT.
 

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